“Adapt to changes
Learn to fly
For in everyone
Lies a butterfly!”
Maa’s words reverberated in my ears. She was the first person who’d realized I was worth far more than the drugs I was doing way back then.
I still reminisce about that fateful day, when Maa was bawling her lungs out while dialing 9-1-1. I could only see a blurry focus of light converging into nothingness. Chills washed over my body, twirling my innards in such a horrendous circular motion that I felt like I was riding on the world’s terribly fast-paced roller coaster. Until everything created a haze dragging me into an abysmal depth of unconsciousness.
“I’ve spoken to Uncle Max, he’d made all the arrangements. Tomorrow morning you’ll be shifted from this hospital. His rehabilitation center has one of the best Opioids replacement therapies in the state; he’d promised to take good care of you. It’s a two-year in-patient program, I’ll be visiting you every alternate day initially.” Mom’s eyes glassed over, she sniffed and reached into her purse for a tissue.
I was too weak to retaliate. Moreover, the incessant patter of nurses’ shoes on the linoleum floors and the smell of weird medications mixed with antiseptic solutions along with any form of recovery advice simulated the feeling of acid on my lacerating wound.
“You’ve got to move out of your cocoon and evolve. Remember the butterfly? I saw it residing within you, trying to break free. It is antsy for your metamorphosis to begin.” Maa added while stifling a sob.
My head ducked in shame. Maa this being the third time, do you really think my inner butterfly will be out someday?
“Oh… dear! Stop internalizing. I know the immediate future promises to be difficult but I for sure know you’ll definitely unleash the butterfly within you. Do you realize that your consciousness is powerful? It is the one tool you have that could free you from your snares, which are too often self-made. So, believe in yourself, your metamorphosis will soon surprise you.” Maa affirmed.
When death was slouching towards me from the corners of the room, the butterfly within me reminded me of the fragility of life and hence the need for transformation. I realized, I brought Maa nothing but pain, grief, and regret which I’m powerless to rectify.
Today, I’m two decades sober. Though Maa is not here with me, she’d almost cut me open to positivity and brightness allowing me to initiate my metamorphosis. There was so much I needed to tell her. But I find it impossible to put into words, hence I acted upon it and acknowledged her efforts by paying it forward.
In my rehabilitation center, “The Butterfly Effect Recovery Center,” I now help people to unleash their inner butterflies by adequately supporting ’em make conscious and valiant efforts to initiate their metamorphosis.
After all, from darkness comes light, from cocoon comes flight, transformation is the way of life.
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