My First Love

My First Love

Once in a blue moon it would have happened, that he was at the door and I was still meddling with my affairs. Today was that rare day. As the doorbell rang, I quickly cleared the webpages and logged out of his laptop. Making a mental note of the sequence that I had followed – the scanner and microphone sealed behind the bathroom tile on which the mirror hung, the book with three extra sim cards well placed behind the huge book stack in the tall cabinet, his official file exactly as and where he had left. All done! Satisfied I scurried away to the door.

My husband, Major Shazad Ali greeted with his customary heartful smile. Now this is how he makes me go weak in the knees. Didn’t I keep him waiting at the door for too long? He could have at least rolled his eyes at me. But no!

The training does prepare us against this, not to get swayed away by emotions. But inspite I fail so often. At times when he kisses me passionately, I just let myself go. Then gravely regret it later. For love can penetrate through those dark spaces in the soul.

As he headed to the washroom gently caressing my cheeks, I went straight to the kitchen to prepare his favourite chicken curry.

My heartbeat and breath by then had normalized but that killing urge to kiss him lingered on. Such a cheerful, reassuring man that he is, surely deserved someone better in life.

Just when I was done with marination, it struck me suddenly that he was taking too long to change.

Instantly I headed to the room and found him in front of the laptop with hands pressed against his head. My heartbeat picked up. Could it be that I forgot to delete the history, or did I forget to delete the scanned document itself?

Of late there have been instances which made me jittery to the core. Like a few days ago when I entered the room he was gingerly studying that bathroom mirror. And about two days back, I found some of my books shifted places. But no questions ever followed from him.

When anxiety took over the better of me, he suddenly turned around and headed straight to the portico.

I peeped through the slight parting in the curtain and noticed some army vehicles lining across the garden area.

I knew my escape well but before I could, Shazad reappeared. He came closer and snaked his arms around my waste kissing me passionately on the lips. I somehow know it was not to make me weak. He truely meant this.

After that I don’t know when and how did he pull the trigger behind my back. All I remember is his warm tears falling over my face, relieving me of all the pain. How often do country spies get to meet such peaceful ends. Perhaps once in a blue moon.

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Riddhi Katira
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