I entered the coffee shop looking for a woman dressed in a green saree. She told me she would wear one, the one with a golden border, the one I had sent her last week. It felt great to be going on a date after so long and at this age. ‘Forty is just a number’ reverberated at the back of my mind and the moment it tried to take control of my emotions, I reminded myself that she too was thirty eight. And even at thirty eight she looked stunning. 

I looked around, checked each human being of the opposite gender in that joint but there wasn’t any woman in green saree with a golden border. It was time, she should have arrived; she had always been punctual since I have known her. But today it was about fifteen minutes since five and she wasn’t still in. I felt dejected. Maybe she didn’t want it to work. Maybe she was avoiding me…yet again.

Finally I sat on a table at the corner facing the wall so that people didn’t see me weeping. I flipped my call list on my phone and scrolled down to find the number of my therapist. Maybe talking to him might ease me down a bit. It was all his idea- to go on a date, rekindle my lost love and get that life going again. But this sudden avoidance after days of WhatsApp chats stirred me up again. It was my final attempt to survive the ordeal before I lose my strength. Yet I saw it fading away like sand from a closed fist.

But then I heard, “Hello, is it me you’re looking for?”

It was the voice I have heard every day and the voice that has been a part of me since my marriage. But today I didn’t know why my heart raced as if I was meeting her for the first time. I turned around to look at her, the ravishing beauty of my life whom I had so scornfully ignored this whole time and let her drift away from me.

She looked beautiful, even without makeup and with the nude shade of lipstick, and I could see those kohl lined eyes longing to see my lost affection back for her again. And I knew she found it today in my eyes.

These therapists can do wonders. We both entered his clinic one day, battered by life and relationship and, wanting counsel through a divorce. But he insisted we try to stay together. Though I hated the whole idea of taking separate numbers and start a WhatsApp conversation as new lovers  but see how wonderfully he revived a relationship in shambles into a new found love story. I have fallen in love with her once again.
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Nilutpal Gohain
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