Self Awareness

Self Awareness

In the dark cavern of my grand chamber, I sat combing my loose tresses, when a bunch of hair entangled in my bejewelled comb. I was startled in utter shock and disbelief. The hair loss was unusual.

I took a long, hard look at myself in the ornate mirror. I couldn’t recognise the haggard face, shadowed with dark circles below the eyes, gazing back at my form.

I asked, ‘Who am I? What have I become? This is not me…’ 

“Gracious me, in my forties but I look sixty already,” I lamented. 

With severe stress that increased over time, it’s intensity choked and strangled my mind with negative thoughts and fears.   

I brushed off all the thoughts that squirmed in my mind, but something still troubled me greatly. My feelings spiked for no apparent cause, and I found myself crying. It did not end here. I realised that my sleep pattern had altered drastically, and I was often counting stars in the skies; like today. 

My attention turned to my comfort zone— a book by Ernest Hemingway. I casually flipped it open to read, ‘The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too’.

This hit me hard, and an awakening shone bright. I sensed the disconnect I had developed between my needs and emotions. The self-confidence that had taken a backseat aeons ago, found me revering in self-pity.  

My inner self crooned, needing to succour in the hope towards happiness. 

My inner voice argued, ‘Maybe, this is my destiny.’ 

I yelled, ‘No, this isn’t destiny. It’s sheer ignorance. I’ve ignored my body too long, and the pattern has now risen its ugly head. The wear and tear has multiplied. When even machines need maintenance, my body is consciousness. It deserves better!’ 

The voice hovered, ‘Quitting work-outs, never paying heed to body needs, dehydrating the body by not consuming the elixir of life, I have even disregarded the urge to rest. The back, knees and legs needed to stop, but I was too busy to bother.’ 

Though late, a sharp pang of guilt stuck me. I realised the need to pamper myself to prevent further damage. 

‘What is that one thing that will make me feel happy again?’ I pondered. 

The blockages and doubts instantly got cleared. My priorities now were hydrating my body, resting, and YOGA. 

I decided to take breaks from work whenever my body demanded and allow the volatile mind to rest with meditation. A dose of positive affirmations would connect me to myself, I affirmed. 

I had finally kindled my mind towards embracing myself while respecting the entire self that comprised of my body, mind and Soul. With positive living, Yoga, consciousness that would regain a complete balance over my physical and mental well-being gave me a whole new lease of life overnight.

I crooned myself to sleep like an infant. The stars sparkled with a new lease of life.

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