The walk of freedom is the desire of the soul. It takes lots of bravery to walk alongside those suppressed and mocked by society. Be exposed for the world to see your real self and just accept you for who you are on that day.
Fearlessness is your own stride in such a moment as the fear for one’s life is a constant knot if someone who knows you, sees you among that crowd of liberated people. The bestowed emotional roller-coaster was an imagery that of a dim light. More, as you approach it, it appears to be a rainbow of twinkling colours.
I had sincerely enough of asking for my right to love, shutting myself to homophobic remarks every time. I wanted to cherish self love and love alike with dignity and respect.
The hot sun above my head was the only warmth I had. It was comforting and it opened my eyes that I was standing here, not only for my own demands but also for those who could not voice out or stand for themselves in an unequal world.
I kept sweating and agonising. I knew no one and putting myself out there was a decision I had made. I lived in the shadows and façade of society for a long time that I did not know my own people. Seeing them was what made me arrive at a conclusion, why throw ourselves to concrete conformity and conclude our conversations, when we can just continue to be consciously content within ourselves?
Suddenly, the march stopped, there were protests against us. The police shielded us like a mother would. Besides, all this commotion, I saw my closeted ex boyfriend allying with the anti-lgbtqia+ march.
We faced each other in total dismay, shock and the emotional fear that something might happen to each other. I just stood here while the march continued in another diverse direction. The sadness in my eyes was reflected into his heart.
I just stood there and it broke my soul. All those times lost, those memories, those promises all vanished into the sky of pride like a desperate cry for freedom.
Unequivocal about the thoughts rushing to my head, I began to leave crying on the roadside. I just had to cry, I am sorry. I am human like all of you.
We all have a heart and when it breaks, the breath-taking silence is a whisper of the soul.
I felt tremendously shaken. A kindred policeman and a non-binary from the pride march took me away.
It felt, for once, my own waves were giving me freedom to let go and embrace my emotional dignity without being afraid of my vulnerability. I did not lose in love, I had just to loosen my horizon to that rainbow ether.
Since that day, I closed my eyes to my past shackles, coming out with my rainbow flag of twinkling colours every year in the sky of pride.
Connect with Penmancy:
Penmancy gets a small share of every purchase you make through these links, and every little helps us continue bringing you the reads you love!