Maya opened her laptop and checked the e-mail for the umpteenth time. The promotion letter should have elated her. It should have made her throw party for her friends. She should be calling her family and enjoying all the attention. But all she could do was blankly stare at the screen. Tears fell hot on her cheeks as her skin burnt in shame.

Shutting the laptop cover, she ambled to her balcony and gazed at the night sky that stared back at her in ridicule. The grey clouds had devoured the twinkling stars just like her avarice that had gobbled up her conscience and her five-year-old friendship with Aparna. Sleep evaded her. So did peace of mind.

The next day, amidst the ocean of congratulations, her eyes scanned the room for her dear friend.

“Maya, when are we getting the treat?” A colleague asked. “It has to be in a five-star hotel, ok?”

“Let’s plan it this weekend,” suggested another colleague.

“Let her breathe, guys,” Sameer stepped in. “She has worked so hard for this promotion. She hasn’t slept for many nights. Let’s party some other time. Right, Maya?”

Maya seemed distracted.

“Are you even listening?” Sameer waved his hand in front of her face.

“O… Of course,” Maya smiled weakly. “Hasn’t Aparna come yet?”

“She’s on leave today,” Sameer replied. “Are you alright? You look pale.” He ran his fingers over her soft face.

“I am. Just a bit exhausted,” she lied.

“Let’s catch up for dinner tonight. It’s been really long,” he said. “I’ve been missing your company.”

“Not tonight, please. I’m visiting my parents this weekend. I need to pack.”

“Alright. Can I at least have the privilege of dropping you to the airport? Bangalore traffic will make sure of us getting minimum two hours of traffic for sure,” he chuckled.

Maya smiled. She had known Sameer for two years. They had been dating since a year. His smile was so contagious that it could melt her sorrows. She playfully pulled his cheeks.

The new responsibility at work kept her on her toes the whole day. At night, her tired bones pleaded for rest. However, sleep still evaded her. Her heart was burdened with guilt. It threatened to explode any minute. Taking out her mobile phone, she messaged Sameer. She deleted the message and re-typed. She deleted it again.

“Aarrgh!” She grumbled in frustration and tossed her mobile aside.

She paced up and down her room. Finally, she picked up her mobile and dialed Sameer’s number.

“Hey, you still awake?” Sameer yawned. “It’s what… 2.20 AM?”

“I… I need to talk.”

“Now? Like right now?”

“If you’re not interested, then let it be, you sleepyhead.” Maya disconnected the call.

Holding her head between her palm, she slumped on the sofa.

About 20 minutes later, the doorbell rang. It was Sameer looking dapper as always. How could someone look so good even at this hour? Maya shook her head.

“You?”

“You wanted to talk, right? And now you look surprised. Women, I tell you!” He threw his hands up in the air and walked in.

“I… I was just…”

Sameer sat on the sofa and gestured Maya to sit beside him.

“I knew something was bothering you. In fact, your mood has been off for the past few days. I didn’t wish to interfere. But if you have anything to share, I’m always there.”

Maya held his hand tightly. Tears pooled in her eyes. Did this cruel girl deserve this gentle soul?

“You’re going to hate me if you hear this,” Maya said softly.

“I’d be the last person to judge you, sweetheart. You know that.”

Maya inhaled deeply. Closing her eyes, she gathered courage and spoke in one breath. “I didn’t deserve this promotion. It truly belonged to Aparna. I stole her presentation.”

She opened her eyes and looked at Sameer. He looked perplexed. “What do you mean?”

“You know I had been working really hard on this presentation. But it lacked clarity. Somehow, I came to know that boss had shortlisted Aparna and me. I hid this news from her. Aparna, very innocently had asked me to review her presentation to check for any error. You know we were best friends, and she trusted me completely. But… but I…” she choked. “I loved her presentation. I was sure boss would like her work better than mine. I deleted some of her documents and incorporated the same in my file.”

There was silence for a minute.

“But why did you do that?” Sameer asked in disbelief.

“I was desperate,” she sobbed. “I know it’s not justified. But I needed the extra income that came along with the promotion. You know my brother is still in college. Dad is retired. I am the only working member in my house, and my salary wasn’t enough to take care of all the expenses. I couldn’t think rationally, Sameer. I… I hate myself for this.”

Placing her head on his shoulder, she wept inconsolably. “When Aparna realized that I stole her data, she didn’t say a word to me. She just looked at me incredulously. Her crestfallen gaze pierced my soul. I just can’t forget that look.”

“Did you try talking to her?”

“How can I? I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. How can I face her? I don’t know what went over me. I was drowned in self-pity. Aparna’s husband earns a handsome salary. She’d be fine without a promotion. While I… was in dire need of money. I’m not justifying myself. I feel so so bad now. It feels like history is repeating itself!”

“What do you mean?”

Maya sighed. She walked towards the fridge and gulped down the icy water that seemed to numb her pain for a while.

“When I was in college, I had a friend. My best friend, Poornima.”

“Poornima? You never mentioned about her.”

“It’s a long story…”

“I don’t mind hearing,” Sameer quipped. "Anyway, my sleep is long gone. Let me brew some coffee while you start. So, how and when did you meet Poornima?”

Maya leaned back on her couch. She re-lived her past as she began narrating.

9 years ago. We were in 12th grade. She was my Chemistry laboratory partner. We didn’t get along well initially. She was a clumsy girl. She’d break test tubes and conical glass, and we both had to pay fines for her carelessness. We both lived in the same colony. We’d take the same bus and walk back home together. Our personalities were poles apart. While I was an extrovert and easygoing girl, she was more of a reserved girl. She wouldn’t open up much to others. However, she was different when she was with me. She’d laugh, joke and share her secrets. That’s when I learnt about her stepmother. She was just 7 when she had lost her mom. Her father remarried the very next year. She never liked her stepmother. She buried herself in a cocoon. Her stepmother never made any effort to befriend her. When she had her own kid, Poornima was completely left alone.

I felt bad for her. She’d get biscuits daily in her lunchbox. I’d get extra tiffin for her. We’d go for movies together. She wasn’t good at studies. I’d help her with her studies. Finally, after our board exams, I scored good marks, while she just scored average marks. I cleared the CET and got admission into a good college. She decided to opt for BSc.

‘I’ll miss you so much, Maya,’ she pouted. ‘I wish we studied in the same college. Can’t you study BSc with me?’

I was shocked.

‘You’re the only friend I have. I won’t be able to survive without you.’

‘I understand, Poorni. But… engineering is my dream…’

‘And I? Would you abandon me for your dream? You can get a good job even after studying this course. My scores aren’t good enough for me to get an admission in your college. And if I fail, my stepmom will get me married right away,’ she cried.

I couldn’t decide what to do. I couldn’t abandon her. After much thinking, I somehow convinced my parents and got admission in the same college where she studied. She was elated. What mattered most to me was our friendship.

In college, we befriended other girls too. However, our friendship grew stronger and stronger. Poornima was a pretty girl, though her dressing sense was pathetic. It was during our college festival when my mom helped her drape a maroon silk saree. It belonged to my mom. I untied her hair and let it fall loose. Some mascara, eye-liner, lipstick, and lo! All eyes were on her that evening. Though nervous, she enjoyed all the attention. Boys queued up to talk to her. As if they had never seen her before in college. Karan smiled at him. Oh, by the way, Karan was her secret crush. She adored him like anything. Her eyes followed him wherever he went. During lectures, she’d be just staring at him. Shamelessly staring!

That evening, Karan’s smile melted her heart.

‘I want to talk to him. Please, please, pleeeasee… help me out,’ she said with puppy eyes.

‘What? No! I can’t do that.’

‘This is a good opportunity, Maya. Won’t you help your best friend?’

‘You’re such a drama queen, Poorni.’

I had no option but to relent.

The next day, Poornima ran excitedly to me and said, ‘Karan asked me out for coffee in the college canteen.’

‘You are welcome!’

She hugged me so tightly I could hardly breathe.

Things began to change after that.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…

The alarm went off. It was 6 AM.

“It’s already 6! We spent the whole night talking!” Maya exclaimed.

“You, not we!” Sameer joked.

“Now off you go. And get ready for work.”

“But what about your story?”

“Later.” She pushed him out of her house.

Maya froze at the entrance of her office building seeing Aparna walk towards the elevator. Maya didn’t want to be stuck with her in any enclosed place. Any place to be precise!

Though a part of her was relieved to see Aparna, she didn’t have the courage to confront her. What would she say? That she was sorry she had to steal her project? That her despair superseded their years of friendship?

“Did you hear the news?” Sameer hurriedly walked into Maya’s cabin. “Aparna has resigned.”

“What?” Maya stood aghast.

“She seemed upset. I tried talking to her, but she said nothing.”

Maya was quiet.

“Maya, I feel you should talk to her.”

Maya didn’t utter a word. She kept staring at her laptop.

“She’d never forgive me.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because that’s what I did!” Maya banged her fist on the table. “I never forgave Poornima for what she did.”

Sameer was taken aback. He had never seen her aggressive side before.

“You know, Poornima, too, broke my trust. Just like how I broke Aparna’s. When I couldn’t forgive Poornima, I can’t expect Aparna to forgive me.”

Sameer looked confused.

Poornima spent most of her time with Karan. She hardly studied. My warnings fell into deaf ears. Finally, when the exams neared, she panicked.

‘I’m going to fail,’ she cried.

‘Didn’t I warn you before?’ I reprimanded. ‘What do you want to do? Fail or sit and study?’

‘There’s hardly any time to study. If I fail, my stepmom will not let me continue in college. She’ll marry me off.’ She wailed.

‘Good for you. That’s what you want, right? Marry Karan,’ I giggled.

‘Shut up, Maya. You are so insensitive. And cruel.’

‘Then what do you want me to do? Steal the question paper?’

‘Yes.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Yes, Maya. That’s the only option left. Karan suggested the same…’

‘You fool. That idiot suggested you a stupid idea and you’ve come to me with it?’ I couldn’t believe she could say that.

‘What’s the harm in it? Am I the only one to copy? There are so many…’

‘Shut up, Poorni.’

‘Please help me, Maya. My life depends on it.’

‘What can I do about it?’

‘Your mom is Preethi ma’am’s friend. You guys keep visiting her house, right?’

‘So?’

‘She has set Physics papers this time. And the question paper set must be at her home.’

‘Do you want me to steal them? Like really?’

Poornima nodded.

I threw my hands up in the air. I couldn’t believe she’d say that.

‘If you really care for me, you’d do it, Maya.’

‘And if I don’t?’

‘Have you met my stepmom? I have never introduced you to her, right? Come home. Right now.’

She held my hand, and we walked straight to her house.

‘Poornima, where were you till now… oh, who’s this?’ Her stepmom was surprised to see me.

‘She’s my friend, Maya.’

‘Come in, Maya. Please sit. Err Poorni dear, can I have a word with you in the kitchen?’ She smiled and walked in.

I could hear muffled noises inside the kitchen. Shamelessly, I tried to eavesdrop.

‘I think I told you about bringing friends home.’

‘She’s the only friend I have.’

‘So what am I supposed to do now? Serve her tea and snacks? Don’t you know it’s time for you to make rotis?’

My heart sank.

Aunty came out with a fake smile. ‘How are your studies going on, dear?’

‘Good, aunty.’

‘Hope Poorni scores good marks. Her dad thinks she should stop studying and focus on learning household chores.’

‘Dad thinks that way or you?’ Poorni cut in.

Her stepmom threw a nasty stare at her.

‘I… I should leave now,’ I got up. I couldn’t withstand to see any more drama.

Poorni came rushing outside and held my hand. ‘Now do you believe me, huh?’

I stood still.

‘It’s alright. I’ll accept it as my fate…’ she started walking away.

‘Drama queen!’ I sighed. ‘I’ll do it.’ I couldn’t believe I agreed to it.

Two days later, I rushed to her with the papers.

‘You got them?’ Her eyes beamed gladly.

‘Stole them,’ I corrected her bitterly.

She hugged me tight. ‘Keep them in your bag for now. I’ll take them on our way back home.’

During lunch break, Preethi ma’am came to our classroom with a staff member. My heart beat faster.

‘All of your bags will be checked. Kindly step aside,’ she announced.

My feet began trembling. I looked at Poornima. She looked tense. Beads of sweat dotted my forehead. My parched throat cried for water, but my feet wouldn’t move an inch. I just wished for the floor to split wide open and engulf me. Muffled noises played in my ears. I blinked my eyes several times as my breath got heavier with each time I inhaled. Blurred images ran across my vision. I could see the staff opening my bag… him retrieving the question paper… him calling Preethi ma’am… she throwing furious glance towards me… she calling my name… I failed to respond. ‘Maya…Maya…’ she shook my shoulders. I jolted back to my senses.

‘Maya, what is this?’ She hollered.

The entire classroom was silent. All eyes were on me. Like a criminal was caught during act.

‘You stole the question paper? I can’t believe this!’ Preethi ma’am’s eyes were red with rage.

I hung my head in shame. I was tongue-tied.

‘Do you know the consequences of your action? I’ll complain to the principal and have you rusticated.’

‘No, ma’am. Please don’t do that,’ I cried. ‘I… I am sorry I did that. But… I …’

‘You are a bright student, Maya. Why did you have to steal the paper? Were you alone or was someone else with you too?’

I gulped hard.

‘Meet me in the staff room. RIGHT NOW!’

She walked away furiously.

‘P… please don’t take my name,’ Poornima whispered.

I looked at her incredulously.

‘You… you know the consequences if my parents get to know. My life will be over.’

I walked to the staff room as if walking towards my doom. I couldn’t take Poornima’s name. The entire blame befell on my head. My parents were summoned. They were shocked to learn what I did. They begged Preethi ma’am to forgive me; not to escalate the matter to the principal. However, it was too late. The entire school had come to know of my heist.

I wasn’t allowed to give my final exams. I was told to write it the next year.

Poornima came to meet me as soon as he heard the news.

‘I… I am so sorry, Maya.’

I sat quietly like a statue.

‘I didn’t mean all of this to happen.’

I didn’t respond.

‘I can’t tell you how miserable I am feeling right now. Are you even listening?’

‘What do you want me to tell you, Poorni? That it is alright. I am always there to take the hit for you. It’s ok that I have to waste a year of my academics. Is that what you want to hear?’

She was taken aback.

‘I sacrificed everything for your sake. First, I left my dream of pursuing an engineering degree. Thereafter, I’ve always been putting you ahead of me. And what did you do in return? You couldn’t even stand up for me? You know what? I’m done with you. Never show me your face again. NEVER!’

Sameer looked at Maya sympathetically. “You never met her after that?”

“Never. Though she made multiple attempts, I could never forgive her.”

“That’s bad.”

“You mean what I did was bad. And what about her?”

“I know that was worse. And I am not justifying her actions. But just give it a thought. You were a bright student. You gave your exams the next year and passed with a good percentage. But if she had been caught, she would have never gotten a second chance. Her life would have been ruined completely.”

“What do you mean to say?”

“What Poornima did was a natural survival instinct. When she sensed danger, she got into her protective shell and didn’t bother who faced the bullet. Just like…”

“Just like me. What I did to Aparna was the same,” Maya continued.

“Circumstances bring out different colors to one’s personality. Poornima wasn’t bad. There is no such thing as bad people. We’re all just people who sometimes do bad things. All humans make mistakes. What determines a person’s character aren’t the mistakes we make. It’s how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses.’

Maya took a while to digest the words.

“I know it’s complicated. I too learnt the lesson a tad too late.”

“What do you mean?”

Sameer leaned back on his chair. Now it was his turn to talk.

My dad was my hero since my childhood. He was my role model. I used to emulate the way he walked tall or talk with grace. He was a well-to-do businessman. I used to wear his suit and shoes and look admiringly at the mirror. He was way too handsome, and I wished to become like him when I grew up. However, things turned upside down and the very man I adored became the man I hated the most!

He got separated from my mom. I never understood the reason. I was heartbroken. My little world was shattered. I used to see mom crying at nights.

‘Papa, how can you be so cruel?’ I asked the day he decided to move out. ‘Don’t you love me? Did you not love Ma?’

‘Beta, you are too young to understand. But remember one thing. I’ll always love you.’

‘Ma will never forgive you.’

‘She will. Just think of us as two adults who have decided to end their loveless relationship for the sake of mental peace.’

‘I hate you, papa. And I don’t want to see your face. Ever!’

Ma worked in a multinational company and got well paid. Yet, dad would send some money to me. I never touched them. I heard he re-married. I hated him some more. I opened his cupboard and took out his old clothes. I threw them out and set them on fire. I wished my anger to burn along with the fire, yet it grew stronger. I screamed my lungs out.

Years later, when I received my first paycheck, I was on cloud nine. When I went home, I found Ma unconscious on the floor. She had been sick for a while and was on some medication. She never revealed anything more. Whenever I had asked, she said it was some common women’s problem. I never probed much into it. That evening, what the doctor revealed shook me to the core. Both her kidneys were failing.

‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’ I asked her tearfully.

‘You were already stressed, dear. I didn’t wish to bother you…’

‘You’re also selfish. If something happens to you, what will I do?’

‘Don’t worry, dear. The doctor will arrange for a donor soon.’

Not many people we knew stepped forward to be a kidney donor. Mine weren’t a match. The list of recipients was overflowing compared to the list of donors. I tried hard convincing my friends and family members. Yet, none wanted to take the risk.

One evening, when I reached the hospital from work, the doctor came smiling.

‘Congratulations. We found a donor.’

I can’t explain what those words meant that time. I wished to hug the doctor and kiss him and cry. However, I controlled my emotions. My eyes welled up.

I broke the news to Ma.

‘I know that,’ she replied stoically.

‘Ma, aren’t you happy? Good bless that soul.’

She smiled weakly. ‘Don’t you want to meet him? He’s in the observation room.’

I sprinted towards the room to thank that angel. For gifting my mom a new life. For giving me back my Ma. But my smile vanished the second I saw him.

‘You?’ I barked.

‘How are you, beta?’ Dad smiled.

‘What are you doing here? Are… are you the donor?’

Dad gently nodded.

‘What are you trying to prove, eh? First, you abandon us. Next, you show up and try to be an angel? Bah!’

‘Sit near me,’ he patted on the bedside.

‘I don’t wan’t to sit. I don’t want to see you too. Why don’t you just leave?’

‘And let Ma die?’

‘Why are you even bothered? When you left us, did you think how we’d live? Why such noble thoughts now?’

‘I did what I felt was right then, Sameer. Your mom and I had jointly taken the decision to separate. Then why only target me? Do you mean to say that we should have just stayed together and pretended to be one happy family even though we weren’t one?’

I stayed quiet.

‘I made mistakes. I married your mom even though I loved someone else. I pretended to be someone I wasn’t. I wronged her. Still, she never blamed me. It killed me from within. When I got to know of her illness, I wished to help her. Fortunately, my kidney was a perfect match. God gave me this opportunity at redemption.’

I couldn’t stay there any longer. I ambled to Ma’s room. She was sleeping. I rested my head near her shoulder and wept.

‘He’s not a bad man, dear,’ she whispered weakly. ‘Nobody is perfectly black or white. There are shades of grey. It’s up to us to choose the shade.’

The operation was successful. Ma regained her health quickly. However, dad suffered from post-operative infection. I wished to see him, but I wasn’t allowed in the ICU due to the risk of further infection. I wanted to thank him. I wished to ignore his black shade and embrace the grey hues. I wished to have my flawed dad back to my life.

But fate had other plans. Dad breathed his last the very next day. Just like that he was gone. No final words, no goodbye.

Sameer wiped tears from the edge of his eye. “You know what’s worse than losing someone? Not being able to say goodbye. Not expressing our true feelings and then realize it’s been too late.”

Maya held his cold hands. Her eyes were moist too.

“I know what to do,” she said.

Sameer smiled at her.

“Aparna, can we please talk?” Maya said.

“I’m busy,” she replied without looking up.

“Come on, Aparna. Please.”

“Can you leave me alone? Aren’t you done bothering me?”

“I’m sorry for what I did. I really am,” Maya said tearfully. "No words can justify my action. What I did was cheating. An unpardonable mistake.”

The entire office staff surrounded them.

“I broke your trust. And stole something that didn’t belong to me. So, I’m here to give you what’s duly yours.”

Aparna narrowed her eyes.

“You don’t have to resign for my mistake. I have put down my papers.”

Murmurs filled the room.

“But you…” Aparna was shocked.

“I am sorry for the trauma I caused. I have taken full responsibility and admitted in writing to my superior about the cheating I did. You’ll be promoted instead of me.”

Aparna couldn’t believe her ears. She knew it took tremendous courage to admit to something like this.

Maya held her hands. “Can you please forgive me?”

Aparna hugged her tearfully. “Please don’t leave. Who will I fight with if you go?”

Maya chuckled. “I’m leaving this office, not this city, ok. I’ll still be around to annoy you.”

Sameer dropped her back home.

“I have e-mailed your resume to my friend who works in the HR department of a multinational company,” he said as they packed her bags. “Don’t be gone for too long. I’ll miss you.” He kissed her forehead.

“Thanks for showing me the way. I feel like a nose block that’s been cleared after a long time,” Maya smiled.

“What an analogy!” Sameer laughed.

“However, it’s not cured fully, you see.”

Maya opened her laptop and clicked on few pages.

“There. It’s done.”

“What?” Sameer quizzed.

“My next destination. Poornima.”

“But you’ve lost touch with her, right?"

“Well, we both have some common friends on Facebook. A college friend, Nisha had messaged me few months ago. Apparently, Poornima had enquired about my contact details with her. Nisha asked me if she could share it. But I had refused.”

“Of course. You didn’t want to forgive her then.”

“But now I feel she should be given a chance to apologize. Too much dragging won’t help, right?”

“I’m glad you feel so. I’m so proud of you?”

“Thank you,” Maya smiled. "I had asked Nisha about Poornima’s whereabouts. And guess what! I have her mobile number.”

Maya hugged Sameer at the airport and promised to be back soon.

The flight to Mumbai from Bangalore was hardly 2 hours. But Maya wished it were shorter. As she boarded the airport taxi to Chembur, her heart pounded in her chest. The telephonic conversation between her and Poornima replayed in her mind again and again.

Poornima couldn’t believe that Maya had called. At first, she thought it was a prank call. But later when she realized the truth, her happiness knew no bounds. There was no detailed conversation. Just a plan to meet at their favorite restaurant.

Hotel Sathguru hardly changed over the years. The crowd, the aroma and the ambience was still unbeatable. Maya smiled as she reminisced their Pav-Bhaji treat they would have on every small occasion. Her face lit up when Poornima arrived.

They hugged and cried.

“I still can’t believe you came,” Poornima said tearfully.

“Glad to see you after so long,” Maya echoed.

 “And I’m glad you chose this place.”

“This is where we began our friendship. What better than rekindle at the same spot.”

“Shall we order the same food too?”

“Sure!”

Digging their teeth into the buttery pav dipped in the heavenly bhaji, they relished every moment.

“I missed this so much,” Maya said licking her fingers.

“I missed you so much,” Poornima said. "There wasn’t a moment in my life when I didn’t think of that day. God, how could I be so cruel? I repented; I hated myself. I wished to go back in time and undo them all.”

“Doesn’t matter now, Poorni.”

“It does. You lost a year. I lost you. I could hardly concentrate on my studies. Somehow, I passed the final year. I lost my dad just after that. Living with my stepmom was impossible. So, I looked for a temporary job and moved out. I knew Nisha was in touch with you. I asked her many times about you, but she didn’t disclose anything. I wanted your forgiveness so that I could move on with my life. I am still stuck in that time when I had betrayed you.”

“Let bygones be bygones. Let’s go somewhere.”

“Come on, I have a surprise for you,” Poornima said. She dialed a number. A black and yellow taxi stood before them.

“Kaali-peeli taxi!” Maya exclaimed. “Do they still exist?"

“Very few. This driver dada is my neighbor. I had requested him to take us around the city today. Just like our good old days.”

Maya rolled down the window and let cool breeze kiss her cheeks. It felt like old times. Nothing had changed. Except her temperament. Her anger had subsided for good. The cobwebs of bitter resentment were now removed. She felt at peace. It was true that you should forgive others not for their sake, but for your own peace of mind. Poornima chatted non-stop but Maya was fully absorbed in the present moment. She thanked Sameer in her mind. For letting her see through the black shade of human nature. For forgiving herself and others. Life is too short to keep grudges, after all.

The taxi halted outside Maratha Mandir theater where they still showed the cult Indian classic movie- Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge.

“DDLJ!” Maya was thrilled.

“Our favorite SRK movie. Let’s go, Senorita.”

“Oh, my drama queen!” Maya rolled her eyes and laughed.