The Drawer

The Drawer

Anuradha took the courage to open the drawer.  She had last opened it 25 years ago to arrange everything in a cosy chronological order.  She was a bubbly chirpy newly wed bride then.  But the irony of her life was such that she never felt the urge to open that drawer again.

But today, the person who had written her all those precious hand written letters was no more. Samir left her and their son Ayush due to a heart attack a month ago.

Anuradha opened the first letter. They were recently engaged then.  The letter started with a poem, 

“Are you happy ? 
I’ll see that you’ll always be happy
I’ll see that you never cry
I’ll always take care of you.”

A lone tear trickled Anuradha’s cheek. All these years, Samir had only given her tears. There were always difference of opinions between them which usually resulted in heated arguments. Anuradha felt lonely although surrounded by people.

She opened the second letter.  It said, “If God forbid something happens to me, then promise me you’ll remarry. But if something happens to you, I’ll never remarry. I’ll always remain a one woman man.”

Anuradha wept uncontrollably at these words. Samir turned out to be a careless person towards his family. Once she discovered that he was having an extra marital affair.  Their marital equation was never the same after that. 

With tears running down her cheeks, she opened the third letter. It read, “I know you love to visit different places. We’ll travel the world together.”

She remembered all those international business conferences which Samir attended ever year – alone. Once she and ten year old Ayush wanted to travel with him. But he strictly said NO.  Ayush was very disappointed. Forget abroad, Anuradha had never travelled out of her city.

She knew that whenever she’ll open this drawer, she’ll weep uncontrollably. And that’s why she avoided opening it.  But today she had to finish it. There was no use keeping all those letters.  She never wanted to read them again and feel the pain.  

It was so sad. Usually such letters are priceless possessions. One reads them to relive all those moments. But in the case of Anuradha, reading them brings the stark reality of her life, which was just the opposite. She didn’t want to live in her dark past.

She took a decision. She emptied the drawer. It had innumerable letters, a few cards and a keychain which read ‘Samradha’.  She didn’t bother to read all as she didn’t want to relive the pain again. She took everything out to the courtyard and burnt.  

She suddenly felt relieved, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her heart. At least now she won’t remember her dark past. 

“Does this happen with every girl?” She wondered.  “No wonder courtship is considered as the golden period of a girl’s life.”

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2 thoughts on “The Drawer

    1. Coming to terms with harsh realities is difficult. But better to discard painful memories than live n suffer.
      The memories and the present are well presented.

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