Standing by the window, she watched the rain pouring down, the scent of the wet mud soothing her soul. Her lips curved into a small smile as images from the past flashed through her memories.

She entered the park and looked around, maybe searching for someone. Her lips curved into a smile as she spotted a familiar figure from afar. As she walked toward him, she found him playing volleyball with a group of children. Perhaps he was coaching them. Spotting her approaching, he asked the boys to continue the game and walked toward her. She hugged him tightly.

“I missed you,” she said.

“I missed you too, but you were the one who was busy,” he replied, his gaze fixed on her.

“Oh yes, work! Business! I didn’t get the chance to meet you. I’m sorry,” she apologized, her tone laced with guilt.

“It’s okay! Let’s take some time off now,” he replied, intertwining his hands with hers.

“Yeah, get me some ice cream,” she demanded, her tone babyish.

He laughed and led her to the ice cream stall, where he purchased two ice creams: chocolate for her and vanilla for himself. They decided to stroll around the park while eating their ice cream. In no time, it started to rain. She chuckled, seeing the rain, and began twirling around, inhaling the fresh scent. Seeing her enjoying the rain, he joined her, and they danced amidst the falling rain, which created a rhythm in the background. They laughed and giggled, having a good time.

As she jolted back to the present, tears escaped her eyes. That was probably the last time she had danced in the rain and enjoyed herself to the fullest. After that, her life changed. She became a wife first, and a mother second. The happy soul in her, the lover in her, died. Of course, she loves her family, but she doesn’t feel the passion one should feel while building a family.

***

“Mumma!” 

“Mumma, Papa’s home!”

Her five-year-old daughter, Hrishika, came running to her, announcing her father’s arrival. She quickly wiped her tears and turned around, only to find her husband approaching her. He smiled gently at her while she asked him about his day. However, he countered her question with one of his own.

“Are you okay? Hrishika was saying that you’ve been lost for quite some time,” he inquired, causing her to smile a little.

“I’m okay, it’s just that I was lost in the past. You know how much I love the rain. Maybe she was saying something, and I didn’t hear her,” she explained, patting her daughter’s head lightly.

“Oh, I understand. I got a little tense,” he replied, and she nodded curtly.

“I understand. You freshen up, and I’ll set the dinner. Your daughter has been adamant about wanting to eat with you,” she remarked, causing him to smile.

He moved further into the room to freshen up while she walked out with her daughter. She set the dinner table while the little girl talked non-stop, sharing tales from school. She smiled and replied occasionally. Meanwhile, her husband joined them, and the family of three had their dinner with light chit-chat. Amidst this, she found herself lost in her sweet family. However, her heart ached for a certain someone, but she knew it was a secret she couldn’t disclose so easily.

***

She is Ruhana, married to Vinay Ahuja, who’s a businessman by profession. They’re blessed with a little girl, Hrishika, who’s the apple of their eyes. After putting Hrishika to sleep, she walked into her room, only to find Vinay sitting on the bed, shuffling the channels on the television. Ruhana freshened up and changed into a comfy nighty. She walked out of the changing room, only to find Vinay working on his laptop. She sat on her side of the bed and picked up her book. Yes, she is a passionate reader, and this time, her current read is a poetry book. She began reading the book, and after a while, her husband’s voice cut through the silence in the room.

“Hey, what’s interesting in these poetry books that you read?” Vinay asked, his gaze fixed on her.

“You’ll understand it when you start reading them, Vinay. Poetries might seem short, but they hold a lot of emotions, the emotions which can’t be said, you know,” Ruhana said, her tone soft.

“Jo ankahe jazbaat hote hain na, unhe hi panktiyon mein utaar diya jaata hai, that’s poetry, you know,” she explained, a smile playing on her lips.

“So, do you have such emotions which you don’t share with me?” he asked, leaving her startled.

She looked at him and felt his hopeful gaze upon her. Well, she has hidden many things from him, emotions which she can’t reveal to him right now. She shook her head as she looked into his eyes.

“Vinay, everyone holds emotions which they can’t share with everyone. And truly, it’s best if some things remain hidden,” she said, her tone soft while Vinay nodded in understanding.

“I understand, but you know, you can talk to me about anything,” he passed her a small smile.

She nodded, and then he asked her to sleep. As they lay on the bed, Vinay outstretched his arm and Ruhana kept her head on it, closing her eyes. He kissed the top of her head and fell asleep in no time. On the other hand, Ruhana opened her eyes, gazing at him. He looked calm in his sleep, and his heartbeat was steady. However, she sighed deeply and smoothed his hair, unable to decide if she could disclose her little secret to him.

***

Ruhana always believed that every day is a new opportunity. The next morning, as she woke up, she felt a new sense of responsibility. She glanced at her husband, Vinay, who was fast asleep. She checked the clock; it was just 7 AM. She hopped out of bed to check on her daughter; it was time for her to go to school, after all. She walked into her daughter’s room, only to find the girl sleeping, cuddling her favorite toy. Ruhana sat beside her, gently stroking her head. As she looked at her little one closely, she realized that the girl had a deep resemblance to her dad. She was an exact copy of Vinay. And there, the story took a U-turn. She went back into the past, her heart aching for someone who was no longer a part of her life. However, there was no use in counting what was lost, right? She kissed Hrishika on the head and shook her gently.

“Hrishu, wake up, baby. It’s time for school,” Ruhana said softly.

“Mumma, let me sleep,” the little girl murmured, snuggling closer to her mom.

“Hrishu baby, we need to go to school. Come on, be a good girl,” Ruhana said, trying to convince her daughter.

“No, ask Papa to take me to school. He promised me the other day,” the little one said, opening her eyes and glancing at her.

“Okay, okay, let Papa wake up, and then we will see. But let’s get ready before him,” Ruhana said, and the prospect of being ready before her dad excited Hrishika.

“Okay, but you need to give me a chocolate bar,” Hrishika demanded.

Ruhana smiled at her antics and agreed to her demand. She took her to the washroom and got her ready for a bath. However, the little girl was in another mood; she started playing with water and splashed some on her mom too. Ruhana became slightly annoyed, but she knew all of this kept her moving forward.

Fifteen minutes later, after getting Hrishika ready, they walked straight into the kitchen, with the little girl following behind. They were oblivious to the fact that Vinay had been watching them from afar and was glad to have them in his life. Meanwhile, Ruhana made preparations for breakfast and lunch for her husband and daughter. All the while, Hrishika kept playing around her, bringing various items from her room.

As per Hrishika’s demand, Vinay decided to drop her off at school and then go straight to a meeting. He had already informed Ruhana about this. After finishing her daily chores, Ruhana sat at her usual place, the swing on the balcony attached to the hall. She had a cup of steaming tea in her hand; she loved having tea in silence. It had been her support for a long time. As she picked up the newspaper, a pamphlet fell out of it. When she picked it up, she felt frozen in place.

The pamphlet was about a competition, likely a writing one, where the subject was quite interesting. Many times we take a path and wonder what it could be like if we had chosen another path. And here, she resonated with the theme – A Journey Left Untaken. The thought fit in her mind because she already held grudges about a journey she had left midway.

***

Reading the pamphlet, Ruhana felt adrenaline rushing through her veins. Her eyes welled up with tears as memories of her past flashed in her mind. It was all before she married Vinay. It was an entirely different journey that she had left behind. And it wasn’t just about one person, but two. One was the person she had loved back then, and the other was a part of her. She trailed back into the past.

Ruhana was a lively girl who had immersed herself in her father’s business after completing her studies. However, she had lost her heart to her classmate, Vineet Sahni. He hailed from a middle-class family, while Ruhana’s family was a business family, much richer than Vineet’s. Ruhana had made up her mind to marry Vineet. Little did she know, her parents had already arranged an alliance for her with someone from a background as wealthy as theirs.

It was a fine day, and after finishing her work, Ruhana decided to meet Vineet at his home. Since they had completed four years of their relationship, she decided to treat him with some homemade delicacies at his place. It happened when he expressed his concern that he couldn’t take her to expensive restaurants, which she dismissed with a smile. Of course, Ruhana loved him with all her heart, and she wanted nothing but his companionship. She reached his home and found the house elegantly decorated with balloons and lights, a warmth spreading through the place. He welcomed her with a soft smile, and she hugged him instantly. They were meeting after almost fifteen days. She had been busy with work, and so had he. He was working in an MNC and had to travel to Bangalore with his boss. After he came back, she decided to fulfill her promise.

They parted the hug, and he kissed the top of her head, while her lips curved into a smile. She pecked a kiss on his cheek and took her seat on the couch. She chuckled at the moment.

“You’ve decorated this so nicely, Vineet! Did you get all these balloons for me?” she asked, her tone laced with childlike innocence.

“Oh, of course! I know you love balloons! And when you’re going to cook my favorite food, I should treat you too,” Vineet said, his tone soft.

“Aw, you’re super-sweet! But when are you going to talk to my parents?” Ruhana asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Ruhana, I don’t know. I don’t know if they’ll accept me or not. Of course, I’m not that rich, so I don’t know, and we haven’t told them about us,” he said, his tone shaky.

“I know, I’ve decided to tell them, Vineet. I am just finding the right opportunity. They might not agree at first, but I know they love me, they will agree for my sake,” Ruhana said, cupping his face.

“But before that, we’ll enjoy this special date,” she pecked his lips lightly and rushed toward the kitchen to fulfill her promise.

Vineet watched as she worked in the kitchen with practiced efficiency. She prepared his favorite Indian cuisines, and of course, a creamy coffee at the end of their dinner. As Vineet looked at her, she was laying the table for the two of them. In no time, Ruhana made a candle-light setting for the two of them, and Vineet looked at her in awe. His heart swelled with love as he watched her, his eyes never leaving the smile adorning her face. After making the arrangements, she led him to the table, and they enjoyed a hearty dinner, the room filled with their heartfelt conversations about work, life, and, of course, love.

A little while later, they sat cuddling on the couch. Ruhana sat close to him, her head resting on his chest. The rhythm of his heartbeat tended to soothe her soul. Sitting in a close proximity with him, she felt at peace. They didn’t need words to communicate, their mutual emotions are enough to do the talking. In his warm, steadfast presence, her resolve hardened – the one to talk about him to her parents. 

She parted the hug, gazing into his deep, oceanic eyes. As they looked at each other, everything felt right at that moment. In no time, she pressed her lips against his in a soft, tender kiss, which turned fervent quickly. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them wrapped in their embrace. Vineet's hands gently cupped her face, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. Ruhana's fingers tangled in his hair, holding on as if she never wanted to let go. The intensity of their connection surged, a silent promise of their love and commitment. Finally, they pulled away, breathless but smiling, their foreheads resting against each other’s. The love and passion in their eyes spoke volumes, reaffirming their bond in that intimate moment.

Ruhana jolted out of the memory, her eyes welling up with the tears. She realised that she had lost something very precious, her love, and the fruit of her love, their daughter. And it’s the talk of the past, it’s the path she had to leave. She sighed deeply, resolved to pen down that journey on the paper. 

***

As she sat down holding her diary and pen, she couldn’t help but muse over the topic A Journey Left Untaken. It had come with an opportunity to muse over the “What-if’s” of her life.

What if she had raised her voice?

What if she had taken a decision against her parents?

What if she had chosen Vineet over Vinay?

What if she had chosen her love over what she called societal pressure?

What-ifs were many but she had no answer to any of it. She trailed down memory lane, to the times when she discovered that she had conceived; it was the fruit of her love. However, with time, her mother doubted her and learned of her pregnancy and her relationship with Vineet. She was against the alliance, for Vineet didn’t match their financial status, and her mother forced her to abort her child. However, Ruhana remained resolute in birthing the child, and she did the same. Though she couldn’t oppose her parents, Ruhana's determination to keep her baby was unshakeable.

Despite her love for Vineet, Ruhana was increasingly torn between her responsibilities to her family and her commitment to him. Her parents’ constant disapproval and Vineet's inability to match the financial expectations imposed immense pressure on her. Ruhana realized that this disparity was causing a strain on her relationship with Vineet, as he struggled to understand the depths of her internal conflict. She feared that this financial and social mismatch would eventually lead to resentment, making it impossible for them to provide a stable and loving environment for their child.

It was a fine night, and she knocked on the door of Vineet’s flat. He opened the door after a few minutes and was shocked to see her there, cradling the baby girl in her arms. She had secretly delivered their daughter. She placed the child on the bed, and before Vineet could ask her any questions, she reached out to hold his hands, as if she was feeling that warmth for the last time. 

Ruhana, with tears in her eyes, whispered, "I love you, Vineet, but I can’t let our daughter grow up in this chaos. We need to let each other go to find a better future for her. This is the hardest decision I've ever made, but it's for her sake and ours,"

“I know you will be the best dad she could ever have. Don’t let her feel the absence of her mother, Vineet. I know you might hate me after this, but this is for the best,” she said, her tone heavy with emotion.

“We can find a solution…” he said, though he knew that was impossible.

“We can’t, Vineet! I have no solution. Our love is pure, and we know it. I don’t want her to grow up in this chaos. She might hate me, but this is for our good. Sometimes, we have to let go of the people and things we love the most, Vineet. And please know, I’ve only loved you, but I don’t want to risk it. Please take care of her,” she said, her eyes teary.

She broke down in his embrace, realizing that life wasn’t as easy as she thought. She had thought of marrying him and bringing this child into the world, but it didn’t happen. Instead, she had to leave her newborn child with her dad and go away from them.

“I am sorry….I couldn’t do anything,” she sobbed against his chest, while he embraced her, trying to console her, but all in vain.

It was the last time she met him, and now it had been six years. Her daughter would be a year older than Hrishika, she wondered. What if she could live her life with Vineet and their daughter? Life would have been good, for she’d be close to the people whom she loved with all her heart.

Her trance broke when her daughter called her, and she quickly wiped her tears. She didn’t want her daughter to see her crying. Little Hrishika rushed to her mother and hugged her tightly by her waist.

“Aw, you missed me?” Ruhana asked softly.

“Yes, you know, we got a half-day because of the seniors' exams. And I am hungry,” she announced.

“Okay, go and change, I will set lunch for you,” Ruhana said gently.

Hrishika chuckled and rushed into her room, with Ruhana following shortly to help her change. Later, they headed to have lunch, with Hrishika narrating tales from her school. However, she didn’t miss that her mother seemed lost.

“Mumma, what happened? Are you sad?” she asked, catching Ruhana off guard.

“No, I’m fine, darling! Come on, have some food,” Ruhana said, though the little girl didn’t budge.

“No, you are sad, I know. Tell me what happened?” she asked babyishly.

“Nothing, you have food, okay?” Ruhana said and began feeding her with her hands.

Hrishika’s gaze lingered on her for a few minutes, but then the girl immersed herself in her food, and Ruhana felt relieved. However, her eyes told a different story. Soon after lunch, Hrishika got busy playing, and Ruhana got some time for herself.

Her thoughtful demeanor wasn't hidden from her ever-so-curious daughter. Hrishika took baby steps toward her mother and placed her hand on her mom's knee, gathering her attention. Ruhana looked at her, and her lips curved into a smile merely seeing her daughter.

“Mumma! You are hiding something, tell me,” she asked, her tone laced with innocence.

“No, honey. Mumma has nothing to hide from you. I am just thinking how my life would have been without my princess,” Ruhana said as she lifted her daughter and made her sit in her lap.

“Really? You're not sad?” the little girl asked, fixing her large eyes on her mother.

“No, when I have you, why would I be sad? Hm, you're my joy, baby,” Ruhana said as she kissed her daughter's forehead.

Hrishika chuckled and leaned into her mother, resting her head on her chest. Receiving the warmth from her mother, the little girl fell asleep in no time as her mother cradled her close.

Ruhana's eyes welled up with tears as she carried her little one into her room and laid her on the bed gently. As she turned away, she found Hrishika holding her finger in her sleep. Not wanting to part ways, Ruhana lay on the bed beside her daughter and closed her eyes.

***

As she closed her eyes, she realized that sleep was far away. Her mind wandered again to the road less traveled, or rather, the road she never stepped on. The day she left Vineet and their daughter with him flashed in her mind. A long time had passed since then. She closed her eyes one more time and found herself walking through a path she never thought she’d take.

A small home, yet filled with laughter. Ruhana found herself running around the flat behind her daughter. The girl, her daughter, was giving her a hard time. The little girl giggled, her voice echoing in the house as Ruhana called her.

“Raina, please listen to me, baby, eat something,” Ruhana said.

“No, I’ll eat with Papa, he is always late,” Raina, her daughter, complained.

“He will take time, please have something, otherwise, he will scold me,” Ruhana made a sad face.

“Noo, he loves you, Mumma, why’d he scold you?” Raina asked innocently.

“If you won’t listen, he will scold me,” Ruhana said softly, her face still sad.

“No, I will talk to Papa, he will listen to me,” little Raina said, running to her mom.

She took the snack plate from her mom’s hand and began eating. Ruhana smiled, and the mother and daughter were oblivious to Vineet watching them. He entered the house and embraced his daughter in his arms, leaving the two surprised. He further announced that since he got an appraisal, they’d go out for dinner. Raina chuckled at the idea and hugged her father out of excitement. However, she ran into her room to finish her homework, while Vineet shifted his gaze to Ruhana and she moved close to him, her eyes stuck on his face. He noticed the never-diminishing smile on her face.

“What made you so happy?” he asked.

“You’re there for me, what else would I want,” Ruhana said gently.

“But, you could have a good life, away from this scarce reality,” Vineet said.

“Nope, there’s nothing more I’d want. You, me, and our daughter, this is our reality, Vineet,” Ruhana said, and leaned into him, resting her head on his chest, finally finding peace in his solace. Meanwhile, their little one came running out of her room and hugged them as Vineet clicked a picture of the three of them.

Her trance broke with a click, and she found herself in her daughter’s room. Little Hrishika was sleeping by her side, and then her gaze met Vinay's. He had clicked their picture, and she smiled at him. In that moment, she realized that the dream she had just seen was a mirage and that she was beneath her reality. Her husband, Vinay, and their daughter, Hrishika, were the reality she was living for.

She knew Vinay loved her, and she too had developed a sense of love for him and their little family. But the love she had felt for Vineet, the passionate, unrestrained love, was something she could never replicate for Vinay. She often wondered if her heart would always carry a hidden chamber, locked away with memories of what could have been if she had chosen Vineet.

Accepting the reality of her situation, Ruhana knew she had to move forward. She couldn't change the past, and dwelling on it only brought pain. Instead, she decided to channel her emotions into creating the best life possible for her daughter and herself within the boundaries of her current reality.

The untaken journey might be painful, but her reality was the happiness that she had made with all her heart. She realized that while the "what if" could offer a temporary escape, it was the acceptance of her present that would allow her to find true contentment. She embraced the life she had chosen, understanding that every choice, every path not taken, had shaped her into the person she was today.