Albeit unknowingly, his parents inked his calamitous fate.
Mihir and Sanjana were married for a decade but did not have children. Sanjana tried everything, including artificial methods, but failed to conceive. After a long and emotional journey, they decided to adopt a child. They registered with an adoption agency and completed the necessary paperwork after doing a bit of research.
Almost a year later, they received a call from the adoption Centre informing them that a three-month-old boy named Manas was available for adoption. Their joy knew no bounds, and they quickly arranged to fly to the Centre on the outskirts of Nagpur. The caretaker at the agency introduced them to baby Manas.
The moment Sanjana saw him, tears of happiness flowed down her cheeks, and a radiant smile graced her face. She tenderly held him in her arms and gently cradled him. Not for a nanosecond Sanjana felt she was holding Manas for the first time.
With all the paperwork in order, they soon welcomed Manas into their home. Every passing day was a new experience for Sanjana and Mihir. They spent hours by his side and showered love and attention.
However, challenges arose as Manas grew older. Sanjana, who was generally carefree and not fond of household chores, had to cook for Manas. She often opted for quick and convenient meal options, and Mihir would never object. But little did they know that they were unknowingly setting the stage for their son’s calamitous fate. Manas soon developed a strong taste for fast food, like processed food, pizzas and pasta, and began to associate them with “healthy” choices.
As Manas grew older, his health declined, primarily due to a lack of proper nutrition. He often fell sick. His immune system grew weaker, and he remained underweight. He frequently skipped school, resulting in a lower than 50% attendance rate. Sanjana’s friends and parents of other kids suggested she should change his diet. Instead of focusing on nutritious food, Sanjana and Mihir resorted to antibiotics and syrups that temporarily alleviated his health condition.
As time went by, Manas resisted attending school. He spent his days at home, mostly sleeping. His once lively spirit had diminished, leaving him fragile. Despite being ten years old today, he appears no older than five.
There has been no noticeable growth in either his weight or height. While kids his age play, dance and participate in events, he often is cooped in his home.
Desperate for a solution, Mihir and Sanjana sought medical help for Manas but failed to recognize the critical role of a balanced diet in maintaining good health, not only physical but mental health too.
Manas often stayed irritated and furious due to persistent fever, cough and tiredness. He yelled and threw objects when his parents stopped him from eating his type of food.
Mihir and Sanjana couldn’t help but wonder if they, knowingly or unknowingly, had inked their son’s calamitous fate.
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Authors Note: I have picked the first line from Dr. Latha Prakash’s story ‘His Calamitous Fate’ (Quintale- 46), Link- https://penmancy.com/quintale-46/
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She writes poems in English and Hindi. Some of her poems and articles are published in the Book Speak Your Mind, You are my Valentine, The Road Taken, Hat tip, The teacher I will never forget, Yes boss, Life on track and Lockdown Diaries. She has contributed to many other anthologies which are in the pipeline. She also writes for YourQuote.com. Her poems are deeply appreciated on Social Media. She also writes for the Asian Literary Society group and has received many certificates for the same. She received 2nd prize for her story “Doctor's Prescription” in the Annual wordsmith award 2021, organized by Asian Literary Society. She won 2nd prize for her poem “Never be defeated” and 3rd prize for her article “Ways to Happiness”. Organized by Impish Lass Publishing House.
She loves to listen to music and watch comedy shows/theatre. She can be contacted on shelshri@yahoo.co.in
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Your first sentence is a wonderful window into your story. The title sums up the essence of your story. Your language is flawless and lucid. As far as being flash fiction, in my view it is best to focus on one event and keep a shorter timeline, and let it drive the story until its conclusion. In your story, there is a lot of extra information packed in about the parents and their background, which covers a long period of time. That would be better for longer stories or novels, not flash fiction. Though clearly written, your story would be served better if you cut back a lot of this information and kept only what immediately affects Manas. That way, only what is relevant to the main idea drives it forward and shapes the story until the final realization of the parents on the unforeseen outcome of their upbringing style.
The other suggestion I offer is to show your story through dialogue and descriptive scene rather than recounting the events. Otherwise it is a good story with a valuable message for parents! I hope my feedback is useful ! Thanks.