What We Become…

Her hands trembled as she pulled the covers over her head. I watched her quietly from the shadows with a pained heart, dreadfully knowing of what was about to come. Her bedroom felt dark and lonely in the night, save for the bright yellow light peeping through the door from the hallway. Her red-rimmed eyelids widened in utter terror as the ray of hallway light widened slowly through the opening door to reveal a tall figure towering over her.

Slowly, but surely, he took his time to walk in, caressing a chain in his hand as he twirled it around like a beaded bracelet. Her sobs were louder than before and she cowered under her blanket, but nothing could stop the man from pulling the blanket off her with a menacing grunt. And, without another word, he raised his hand and brought it down on her as the chain left a huge gash against her skull. Her screams rose a notch with every flogging, with the chain robbing her off her strength and innocence as it unearthed yet another stream of blood trickling down her pale skin. By the time the perpetrator had stopped to take a look at his handiwork, she was lying weak on the floor as her weary limbs slipped in the puddles of red that was ripped off her tender body.

“Oh… god… what… h-how…” He choked on his tears as he dropped to his knees by her side.

She collapsed on the floor in exhaustion, though her breaths were still strong.

The man hurriedly walked around her bed to her nightstand and lifted a box. He walked back to her, took her hands and gently dressed her wounds on her trembling body.

“Shh… shh… hey, hey…,” he smiled at her as tears streamed down his wet eyes, “I got you… I got you… I will make sure that he does not hit you again… he does not hit you again… h-he does not… h-hit you… a-ag…ain…”

The girl bit her lip in fear as the man lifted her up and carefully placed her bruised body on the bed. He gently kissed her on the forehead and walked out of the room, slowly closing it behind him.

This may not sound like anything much. But I witnessed it, I witnessed it all. The flogging, the blood, the cries, the gentle aftermath.

I did not miss a detail.

The moment the door shut and the room plunged back into darkness, she turned to her nightstand and pulled out a book, while grabbing a pen from underneath it. With her hurt fingers and her tear-stained cheeks, she blinked her wet, sore eyes as she began to write on a new leaf, now ridden with smeared blood and salty tears,

Dear Diary,

He came today. Again. To beat me. To blame me. To torture me. Even if he does not say anything, I know that he thinks it. I can see the hate in his eyes every time he gives me the stare of death, I can hear his growls every time his screams drowns mine, I can feel his wrath on my body every time he shows me how much pain I have caused him.

Ever since Mamma left for heaven, he made sure that my life was hell. Every night he would come in and blame me. Just like he blamed me today.

I have screamed, I have begged, I have tried to find my way out of this, I have seeked out for help, but all I get in return is ridicule and laughter.

My fifteen-year-old body cannot bear the pain anymore. I cannot bear the pain anymore…

Tomorrow is the day. The day it all ends for me.

My pain, my suffering,

See you on the other side…

Hopefully…

All the while that she had penned those damaged words through her shaky hands, I peeked over her shoulder. I could feel her pain even then and I could feel her pain even now…

…and I had realized that it was time. Time to save her.

It was time for me to finally reply back.

The next day, I watched as she opened her aching eyes and slowly pulled up her sore body to sit on the bed. My heart ached to hear her wince with every movement that she had tried to make, but my gaze waited rather impatiently for her to notice.

She pinched her eyelids and sighed with a shaky breath as she slowly looked around her. She shook her head, stood up and turned to leave. I was disappointed…

Almost.

She frowned and turned her gaze towards her nightstand. Over her diary, was a white envelope. Gullibly, she picked it up and turned it over to find her name.

I was excited. She was close.

I could feel her read the one word on the envelope. Her name.

Lily.

Her nervousness turned to curiosity. She peeled off the orange lily wax seal before opening the flap,and slipped out the white piece of paper. Frowning, she unfurled the delicate leaf of white paper to reveal a letter addressed to her.

Darling Lily,

I know that you must be surprised to receive this letter. After all, you have never received any from anyone all this time. This, somehow, makes this letter very special to the both of us, because it is much more than just words.

I have seen your pain as you face your demons every day, as you face every persona that your father has to endure. But, you see, that is exactly what is supposed to happen. You are supposed to face it all, all his wrath, all his anger, all his violence, because you have to face it to become something much more beautiful.

He is the darkness before the light and he has shown you the blackness of it, the worst of it, and the rock bottom of it all…

Now, all you have to do is find the light, swim up to the surface, kick back and remember who you really are…

Because, in losing yourself completely will lead you to find yourself

Find your way back up and I will be there to give you back your glory.

All you have to do is break the seals…

Break the seals…

Break the seals…

Break the seals…

Break the seals…

I watched as she read the words that I had written for her, hoping that she would realize the significance of it, hoping that she would find her way. I watched her expressions closely as she looked scared and wary. My heart almost dropped. I thought that I had lost her, that she had lost herself.

“Break the seals, yes, break the seals…”

That was when I had begun to see the fire within her. That was when the glint in her eyes began to sparkle brightly. That was when her mind was drawn back onto the path to fulfil her destiny. That was when her soul began to walk towards the true light.

I watched, as she carefully folded the pristine white sheet of paper that I had so carefully written on for her and placed it back on the desk. She took a deep breath and walked out of the room, with an expression that did not convey anything.

I followed her around as she went about her day, right from her challenging time at high school to what awaited her back at home.

It was a very ordinary day for her in school. She spoke to the only girl in school who had ever bothered to look at her, while the others kept their distance from her. The teachers paid no attention to her existence. It was all fine, until…

…the moment she came back home with her clothes bathed in blood.

The moment her father opened the door, his frown turned to shock as she silently entered the house.

“H-how did this happen?” he asked as his breathing began to accelerate, “W-what did y-you d-do?”

She stopped in her tracks and turned slowly to face him. With tears in her eyes, she walked towards him and gave him a tired hug.

“Break the seals…” she said softly.

“W-what did you do?” he asked silently in a shaky voice. She sighed and slowly whispered in his ears

“What I should have done a long time ago!”

His skin began to melt in her embrace as he let out a loud cry. Blood dripped from multiple puncture wounds like a myriad of waterfalls merging into a hellish pool, exposing the decaying bones beneath. They crumbled in her embrace as the fumes of his incineration rose high and enveloped her very being. A new surge of strength coursed through her as she sauntered out of the house, never to come back again.

And, it was only the beginning.

Year after year, I shadowed her every move and watched as she left her mark wherever she went. Be it brutal torture or psychological scarring, she marched down her path to glory, leaving a trail of dead bodies in her wake. She savoured each and every victim as if it was her last. And, every one of them brought her closer to who she was.

Who she was always meant to be.

And, when the day had come, when she could not run anymore, when destiny finally caught up with her, when she was tried and tested by the high lords and judges, when she was sentenced to her fate, when she had embraced the inevitability of her own death, she had finally reached her destination, her home.

Hell.

Where her reward awaited her. My Love of Eternal Damnation.

You see, I had witnessed her rise to power, I had witnessed her downfall to Earth, I had witnessed her pain through the demons of hell that tortured her every day, to remind her of why she had lost and why she had to find herself…

And she did.

She remembered the times of all the pain that she had borne for all the tortured souls that she had spared in Hell. She remembered the purity of not fighting back. And when she decided to end on it, was when it was time for me to end her punishment, to bring her true penance.

And, when all her torturers were killed, when her bullies were massacred, when she claimed as many souls as she could to complete her true penance of six hundred and sixty-six, was when the door to the light were finally open for her to embrace.

The light of the fires of Hell itself.

After all, what is Hell without its king, Lucifer…

…and, what is Lucifer without his Queen, Lily…

… or, shall I say, My love, Lilith?

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Olinda Braganza

Olinda is an engineer by profession and a writer in the shadows. The only way for her to get over her imagination is to pull it out of her head and into her stories. She loves animals and hopes that she can one day contribute to the solution, rather than the problem.

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