Christmas Cheers and Chills
The winter winds nipped at my skin, the chill pricked me like needles and the cold settled in my bones, not planning to leave anytime soon. Despite the bitter December month, I radiated heat as if my body was on fire and perspired in a way that would make anyone believe that I swam with my clothes on.
Just as I stepped on the hard waxy welcome mat of this little roadside café called ‘Espresso yourself’, I reminded myself for the one last time why I was there.
The homely vibe, and the heavenly smell of roasted coffee hit me like a breath of fresh air, bringing my mind at a little bit of ease. The sweet sound of hot milk being poured into a ceramic mug, the soft voice of the barista calling out a customer’s name, droned away all of my nerves.
“Hi darling, why did you call me so urgently, you know I’m busy” Michael questioned, a smile settled on his lips, yet agitation burned brightly in his eyes.
He guided me towards a corner table, telling me to sit while he went to place an order for the both of us.
‘Micheal I am done’
‘I want to break up’
‘It’s not me, it’s you’
I should probably not say the last one, the conversation is going to be bad enough as it is, why make it worse.
“So say what you want to, just make it fast, I don’t have all day” Michael said, trying to sugarcoat his words with a sickeningly sweet tone.
“Umm…. Well, I know there is no easy way to say this but- uh- I want to break up.” I say hesitantly while focusing on the dark brown coffee lying in front of me.
It’s been two years and yet he doesn’t know that I like my coffee sweet. I should have realized that we weren’t end game the day he insisted that I grow up and drink coffee ‘the right way’.
I had played this moment out a million times, in a million ways, but one thing is for sure that this is not what I was prepared for, because Michael’s booming laugh filled my ears; loud and obnoxious.
“You? You think that this is going to affect me in any way, my love?” he says in between laughs. “Well you’re delusional sweetie, because honestly I don’t give a damn. I only kept you around because you weren’t too bad to look at.”
I wanted to say that I was surprised, but I really wasn’t. Rather I felt relieved knowing that I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
I stood up, ready to leave while saying, “Well, good for you! I’m glad the feelings were mutual. I hope the rest of your life is exactly like my coffee”
Bitter and dark
As I leave the café, I know that I have given myself the best Christmas present ever: a needed ending right before a new beginning.
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