A blanket of darkness envelopes me in a comforting silence pulling me fast into a vortex of  oblivion. But a tiny part of me still is struggling to take in what is happening  around me.

My husband of 30 years is walking around like a zombie and is his held by his brother and a dear cousin.  I can hear a lot of muffled sobs and sniffling and whispered talks. My entire extended family, the relations I have so lovely nurtured over the years are all here in tears and wanting to bid me a final farewell.

I  was the only child of my parents, but being extremely close to my cousins,  I never felt deprived of sibling love.  I was the youngest among cousins and loved by all and was taught that sharing is caring.  My parents showered all their love on me, but I was never a pampered, spoiled child. Growing up  my gentle, amicable  nature earned me friends for a lifetime.

Later when I got married,  I found the 'perfect match ' and we were blissfully happy.  The Gods  too seemed to be  jealous of our  blissful life and decided to add a cruel twist. I conceived once but had a miscarriage  and then we never had any children. I was not one to wallow in self pity and decided that I  would be a 'mother' to all the children around me.  That is how I ended being the favourite aunt to all my nephews and nieces. Indulging them gave  me a great pleasure and  satisfaction.  Children are the purest souls on earth and give unconditional love.

God was kind to me in the sense we had enough and more of money. I found immense satisfaction in showering small gifts on all who  visited  us. A saree to an aunt, a nice sling bag to a niece, a toy to the neighbour's kid, things which made both them and me happy.  I loved to cook and often experimented with fancy dishes.  I made sure that visitors to our house never left without partaking in the delectable fare I cooked.  Probably all these endeared me to all who knew me.

But  then all  good things in life come to an end and I was no exception. A  massive heart attack the doctors said. So here I lie waiting to cross to the other world, surrounded by all my dear ones.  Every single face is tear stained as each one recalled their time with me. Even my maid is inconsolable.  All their love makes me feel that my time on Earth has been worthwhile.

On the threshold of being transported to another realm, I am at peace. My husband caresses my head lovingly for the last time before following the priest's instructions to light the pyre.