Sandhya has never felt more content in life. After moving to the city at an age when most women in her village had 3 children, she has been fortunate. Whatever you call it, Sandhya is no more in the clutches of her alcoholic husband and his cruel family that treated her like a maid. Ironically, now actually working as a maid in the city, Sandhya feels seen and heard like never before. Back in the village, Sandhya did everything around her house. She slept for 4 hours and was up early to tend to the cattle. From sweeping and cleaning to cooking and washing, to getting water from the river, Sandhya hardly had any time to breathe.  She also took care of her ailing in-laws who hardly missed any opportunity to taunt her. Sandhya was beaten by her husband frequently as he got home drunk almost every night. Nobody had any respect or appreciation for her work and her health was deteriorating fast. She also took care of the three children her husband had from his previous marriage.  Sandhya’s life had taken a turn for the worst when her father married her to Mohan. At 16, Sandhya didn’t realize what she was getting into. Along with her five younger siblings, Sandhya had lived a sheltered life, as her father loved her dearly. Even though they were poor, she had a carefree childhood, which continued well into her teens.  Sandhya understood her father wanted her to be the primary caretaker of her brothers and sisters while he was happy to cook, wash, and clean for them after a long hard day in the fields. She took on the role like fish to water and enjoyed every moment she spent with them.  Sandhya didn’t dream big but believed her future was full of joy and security. Her father had taught her the value of diligence and earning one’s own place in the world. He would ensure that his favorite child was well settled.  Sandhya was tall and dusky, with a body that was athletic and strong. Her hair wasn’t too long but had brown sheen to it. She loved the river, the rain, and even the humid summer for its breezy late evenings. Sandhya loved to dress up and was content with the second-hand clothes her neighbor gave her every now and then, as charity.  She was the apple of her father’s eyes and the day he gave her hand in marriage for money, was his last day as a proud man. He knew what he was getting his daughter into, but he also had to think about his other five offspring. After losing everything as a farmer, he had no option but to marry Sandhya off for money.  In a month’s time, news of his untimely death broke any strength or hope Sandhya still had for her future. She was kept in the dark about her surviving family and wasn’t even allowed to be present for his last rites.  If there was hell, Sandhya lived it. She ultimately gave in. She convinced herself that it was her fate for now and there was no way she could change that. She continued to toil hard, day and night, while also reminding herself every night before bed that her situation wasn’t permanent. After enduring eight long years of tears and hardships, it was almost a miracle when one day, Sandhya was able to gather courage and escape from her drudgery-filled life. She ran to the only railway station nearby and prayed to reach some far-off town. She was ecstatic when she discovered she had around Rs 5,000, saved after years of suffering, in the only cloth bag she was carrying. As it turned out, it was enough to last for the two weeks she was without a job in Delhi. Sandhya thought about her family. They lived a poor but content life before she was married to Mohan. Her father gave her all the freedom and Sandhya didn’t know any other way to live. Her family mattered most to her and she was always willing to sacrifice for her siblings’ sake. She rarely ate enough as her younger brothers and sisters fought for an extra bite. Even with no money, Sandhya and her family had a lot of pride. Sandhya never shied away from hard work and was always the first one to wake up in the morning. She had the freedom to do whatever she wanted, but she stayed home with the siblings “All we have is our honesty and sincerity child. Let’s always stick to them,”. her father would say. Sandhya took a deep breath and promised herself to find her footing in the city. She knew it was her only chance at living a life of dignity. She had one last opportunity to make her dead father proud.  Sandhya’s employer, Radhika, is a simple woman who has chosen to remain single. She is smart, intelligent and always well-dressed. Sandhya couldn’t have asked for a better employer. Radhika gives her all the freedom and respect she deserves as a dedicated professional. She even shares her clothes with Sandhya. Not just the ones she has discarded but even those she still wears. Sandhya can borrow any kurta or shirt from Radhika’s closet. But Sandhya knows her boundaries. She has tried Radhika’s Indigo kurtas several times and they look great on her tall and lanky frame. Her brown hair and brown kajal highlight her beauty well. Sandhya loves her silver jewelry collection and often finds herself ogling at them whenever Radhika takes them out to dress up. Radhika also has the best taste in food. She never cooks (don’t think she ever learned) but she can download some mean recipes for Sandhya to experiment and they almost always turn out delicious. Sandhya, on the other hand, is skilled at taking care of a home. Years of labor in the village have taught Sandhya the value of discipline. She couldn’t have managed all the chores back in the village if she wasn’t disciplined.  As she never went to school or stepped out to work, the only experience Sandhya has is that of a homemaker. She excels at chores. It is all she knows. This can be a reason why she feels so confident in her work. Sandhya never feels tired at Radhika’s. She even finds time to sit in the balcony or watch a show on TV. She has also rented out a small one-bedroom accommodation near Radhika’s 3-bedroom flat and leaves for home every night at 8 after serving dinner and cleaning the kitchen for the night. Sandhya is fascinated by Radhika’s independence, who has a great job that she loves and doesn’t have a partner to interfere with her decisions. She doesn’t even have to do anything around her own home because she can hire someone.  Radhika’s frame is heavy and curvy. She carries all her dresses really well. Her short hair is stylish and easy to manage. Sandhya often imagines herself in the same hairstyle and wonders if it’ll look on her longer face. Radhika is also carefree. She is not obsessed with keeping the house spick and span.  Radhika also sounds like a practical person, which Sandhya finds hard to be. Her emotions take over and then, she is unable to think with reason. Radhika, on the other hand, is so calm and composed even on emergency work calls and has never said yes to any of proposals she has received from the handsome men around her.  Sandhya is quite confident that her stupid heart can throw her into the deep waters any day and all it will take her to drown is a young man complimenting her.  Yes, Sandhya is proud of herself but, when she looks at Radhika, she sees an ideal woman. Her idol, with just one tiny flaw.  Radhika, the woman Sandhya looks up to, had been a bright student all her life. She was brought up in a colony full of middle-class parents whose collective goal in life was to raise perfect citizens. Being the only child, Radhika had the responsibility of pleasing both her parents. But it had been too much for her. Whereas on one hand, her father wanted her to be the best engineer out there, on the other, her mother wanted to raise a perfect girl for marriage. Someone who was talented in all things home. Not being able to cook, clean, wash, dust, and do the pocha was sacrilegious in her mother’s eyes. Radhika’s father raised her like a son. Those were his words. He would comment often how he didn’t want Radhika to do anything that a typical woman does. In her young mind, that meant not learning anything that was remotely considered by society as largely feminine. From being undisciplined to being reckless about their health, Radhika and her father had a lot in common.  Growing up, Radhika found herself being careless like her father too. She viewed life only in terms of grades and academic achievements. Looking back now, she realizes how she was always a baby when living under her mother’s wings. She never even appreciated her mother for doing all that she did for her family, selflessly.  Radhika’s only focus as a teenager was to excel academically and get a high-paying job as soon as possible. She achieved the feat at the young age of 22 and turned into a girl full of pride and arrogance by the end of that year.  But none of this meant anything for her mother. She was still angry at Radhika for not learning the ropes of homemaking in order to land a perfect matrimonial match. She didn’t hesitate in reminding Radhika every now and then of her misfortune for being single at a ripe age.  Radhika shared a strange emotional connect with her mother. She wanted her mother to do more for herself and yet, she didn’t want her to stop doing everything for her family. They often ended up arguing and the relationship started turning toxic. Radhika wanted her mother to do her job without any grudges. She wanted her to stop reminding her that she wasn’t the perfect “girl” in her eyes.  Every time her mother did the pocha, Radhika had to stand and observe. Then, her mother would force her to try it herself. As Radhika scrubbed the floors, she couldn’t help but curse her mother. She wanted her father to interfere but he never did.  One fine day, when she was scrubbing hard, Radhika’s mother screamed in her ears, “You think getting a big fat package makes you a successful woman? This independence? Don’t forget that someone who can’t even do a pocha properly, can never survive without help anywhere on this planet! And don’t even think about finding a man in this lifetime.” That was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  The burden of being the best of both worlds didn’t sit well on Radhika’s shoulders. She craved for freedom, from both her mom and dad. She decided that only when she moved out and created her own abode, would she be able to create her own happiness. Or so she thought. When she bought the flat, Radhika hadn’t planned out anything. She was so used to her mother doing it for her that it never even occurred to Radhika that once out of the house, she’ll have to do them all. There was nobody to take care of her, like her mother did. For the first few months, Radhika felt defeated. She hadn’t felt it when her mother made fun of her home-making skills in front of her relatives. She never felt any sorrow when her mother taunted her every morning at breakfast. She didn’t learn any chores even when her mother humiliated her and stopped washing or cooking for her. But standing in her own house, with no idea about how to take care of a home, the idea of freedom didn’t appeal much to Radhika. She tried her hand at cleaning the dishes the first night, but gave up in five minutes.  Next morning, she had nothing to eat for breakfast so she went out to the nearest café. Coming back, she had laundry to do. Again, she had never washed her clothes. She googled laundry services. As she searched for one nearby, Radhika felt frustrated. Yes, she did feel incomplete. She felt as if all her efforts to prove her independent had been in vain. She ended up ordering dinner and avoided the looking at the kitchen at all costs. Radhika had tried to mop the floors the first day she slept in her new flat. But she ended up spilling water in anger.  She cried as loneliness engulfed her that night.  The next two weeks, Radhika tried to prepare meals for a week in advance as suggested by an influencer on Instagram. Radhika never got any quantity right. She ended up with bland dal, fried cabbage enough for a house of 4 for a week and rotis that were almost burned.  As she sat trying to scrub off the haldi stains from her dress, Radhika felt completely at loss. The pride and joy of being independent was all gone and in its place, there was resentment and a depressing feeling of not being enough.  When a colleague told her about maid services she could hire, Radhika couldn’t contain her excitement for too long. The very next morning, she had contacted one and hired Sandhya a week later. Sandhya is brilliant at her job. It’s been a year now since she came into Radhika’s life and it has never been better. Sandhya is from the village but her sensibility and smartness are perfect for city life. Every time they interact, Radhika is impressed by Sandhya’s confidence and kindness. Her life journey hasn’t been easy and yet, here she is. Always smiling and enjoying each moment with so much awareness. Radhika adores her and treats her like a sister.  She feels Sandhya deserves all the happiness in the world as she is so perfect. She tried her best to groom her and help her learn new stuff. Radhika has been struggling with resentment against her own self and cannot gather the courage to forgive herself for her flaws. But she can love Sandhya and provide her with a safe environment to grow in.  She still remembers the conversation she had with her one evening while sipping tea.  “Do you feel sorry for yourself Sandhya?” They had been talking about Sandhya’s life before she came to the city. “Why Didi?” “I mean, you never deserved what life offered you, isn’t it? it wasn’t fair at all.” “Yes, it was not. But Didi who can guarantee that for anyone? Aap hi batao (you tell me)?” “Yes, I know. But it’s human to feel sorry for yourself and even give up when things get worst.” “Didi, I only know one way to live. And that is by working hard. Be it at my father’s house where I had to take care of my siblings, or at my husband’s, where I had to do break my back. In my mind, I just knew I had to continue giving my best. I am so grateful that I was able to remove myself from that toxic environment. But then, what I did after that shaped the life I have now.” “I hope I can be independent like you some day,” she added.  Radhika was amazed at Sandhya’s wisdom and also shocked at her last statement. Independent? Radhika thought Sandhya was way more independent than her. She was such a perfect example of a girl who could do it all. She could take care of herself anywhere in the world. In fact, Sandhya was not just taking care of herself but also of Radhika. She didn’t need a maid to survive, like Radhika did.  Sandhya knows exactly how much to cook without any leftovers, when to close the curtains in the evening, how to take out a stubborn stain from a shirt, how much phenyl to add to water for that perfect concoction of cleaning liquid for the floors, and most importantly, how to do the perfect pocha (mop the floors.) Her mother will fall in love with Sandhya.  As Sandhya mops the floor, Radhika hovers over her head again. This is the only time Sandhya is irritated with Radhika to the extent that she wants to yell at her. This is that tiny flaw. Ever since she started work, every time Sandhya mops the floor, Radhika walks around the entire house with her, making her feel like she’s being watched.  Sandhya finds it crazy for someone like Radhika to follow her like that. She hardly ever does anything around the house and yet, she observes Sandhya’s mopping skills like a hawk. She has even seen Radhika cancel her morning meeting to not miss the mopping session!  As Radhika hovers over Sandhya again this morning, Sandhya has had enough. She looks up from the floor and asks Radhika, “Didi, sab theek hai (all is well)?” “Yes. I just always wonder how you manage a perfect pocha every single time.” “It’s not rocket science, Didi.” “Apparently for me, it is,” Radhika manages to respond with a sad smile.    Penmancy gets a small share of every purchase you make through these links, and every little helps us continue bringing you the reads you love!