As I sat staring blankly at the computer screen, the figures seemed to jiggle on the excel sheet, mocking the inactivity of my brain. I thumped my fist hard on the desk.

Dimwit! Useless!

That’s what Baba called me whenever I couldn’t solve a math problem. He was right of course. I was all of those, if not more.

A small group was congregating at the door. One of the guys strode towards my desk. “Hey! Come join us for lunch.”

I was tempted. Being a shy kid, I always stood alone in a corner and watched others play. Was this my chance to ultimately become part of the most happening group in office?

They were now looking in my direction and whispering among themselves. Swiftly, I returned back to work. “Sorry. I need to submit this today.” He shrugged and left.

How adept I have become at lying nowadays, I wondered. Well, better than giving unnecessary explanations.

My phone was ringing. I snapped at the caller. “What is it Aai?”

“Did you have your lunch beta?”

“I’m not a five year old child ! Leave me alone, will you?”

I realized I was screaming when I found the entire office gaping at me. Embarrassed, I ran to the washroom. The day couldn’t get any worse than this! I needed to get out of here.

Shreya was one of the handful of friends I had in my life. She readily agreed to meet me for a cup of coffee at a nearby pub. Feeling lighthearted, I went out.

The date turned out to be a complete disaster, however.

“You’ve been quiet the whole evening,” observed Shreya. “Are you alright?”

Her large almond eyes were filled with concern for me. I knew she liked me. Honestly, I liked her too. But suddenly, the atmosphere became suffocating. I felt choked. Mumbling some feeble excuse, I escaped.

Aah, finally I was back home. A place where I could be myself. Exhausted, I fell on the bed and closed my eyes.

The clock was chiming two when I woke up gasping for air. My clothes were drenched in sweat and my head throbbed with pain. Quickly, I gulped down the glass of water I’d placed on the bedside table before sleeping.

What’s the matter with me? Why am I having these frequent nightmares? Am I going mad?

Lost in thoughts, I waded to the bathroom. My eyes widened with horror as they fell on the mirror. A haggard man was slouched against the wall. He looked pale as death with sunken eyes, hollowed cheeks and disarrayed hair.

His dark eyes bored into mine. You can’t run forever!

I’m not running.

Yes you are. Stop running from yourself.

What?!

Go, call the doctor!

No!

You need help. 

I…

Please!

The world stopped revolving. Through a thick mist of tears, I saw the image blurring away. All that stood in its place was the naked truth.

Trembling, I reached for my phone.

Glossary :

Baba – Father

Aai – Mother