The End?

The sky darkens—a black hole that swallows the sun. 

Shadows dance on my apartment’s walls, twisting, writhing. Leaping out to grab me. 

It’s as silent as the grave. But not really…

Tick-tock! Tick-tock! The clock ticks. The water droplets from the bathroom tap fall onto the tiled floor. Plip-plop! 

“Look at me, Daddy!” the little one bellows, sprinting across the room, bounding from one sofa to another. 

I open my arms wide, welcoming her into a hug. 

She dashes towards me. The pitter-patter of her tiny feet echoes over the floorboards. Several whoops, followed by more pitter-patters! 

And then nothing. 

The shadows get her before me. 

Tick-tock! Plip-plop! The clock ticks. The water drops. 

Did you hear it, too, my love? Did the tick-tock, the plip-plop, the pitter-patter drive you insane, too, my sweetheart? 

I left you alone. All in the name of giving you time. Time to heal. Time to forget. 

I even hid my pain from you. 

I slipped early to work and returned late. Too late to have a conversation. Too late to see you awake. 

I knew you were tossing and turning every night, muffling your sobs, swallowing your tears, tucking them into the dark folds of the night. 

I did it, too. But alone. It seemed a gaping black hole yawned between us, and I couldn’t cross it for fear of being engulfed. 

Tick-tock! Plip-plop! 

Outside, the horizon vanishes, and the sky buckles, smearing its blackness inside. It leaps at me, just like the shadows. 

My breath clumps. A sticky wetness scrapes at my throat. 

I shut the glass door. 

Tick-tock! Plip-plop! Louder now! 

I close my eyes. The scenes roll like a movie. 

Our little daughter, crossing the road. 

A speeding truck. A screeching of tires! A thump! A scream, then a thud of her tiny body hitting the ground. 

The sticky wetness of puddling blood! 

Tick-tock! Plip-plop! 

The images melt, and now it’s you, my love! 

Standing on the parapet of the roof of our apartment building. The wind whips against you. Your hair lashes at your face. But you don’t care. Your foot dangles in the air. 

But only for a moment. 

Thud! Your body kisses the ground! Screams, howls, and cries. 

Again, the sticky wetness of blood.  

Tick-tock! Plip-plop! 

My empty eyes stare back at me from the window glass. When it’s dark outside, the glass becomes a mirror. Mirrors to reflect your inner darkness. 

I could have saved you, my sweetheart. Would this have happened had I sat with you and cried? If I had held your hand and lunged into that black hole? 

But I didn’t. 

I couldn’t. 

Tick-tock! Plip-plop! 

A sharp knife gleams in my hand. It sails across my neck. 

Blood spurts like a crimson fountain. My blood. Your blood. Our daughter’s blood. 

The sticky wetness disgorges.

A sea of light at the end of the black hole beckons me. 

The end is where we start again, my love… see you on the other side… 
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